The Dragon in all of us.

"Be careful, lest in fighting the dragon, you become the dragon."-Nietzche

No, I have not been watching a bunch of old kungfu movies.
I have however been going through some of my older writing diaries and came across this quote that I had written down sometime ago. What I was reading or thinking of at the time I do not recall but I still really like it.
A few pages beyond and I see that I had been reading a book by Philip Yancey,
"What's So Amazing About Grace?" ( EVERYTHING! )
Here were some lines from his book that stuck with me.

"I have come to view God's grace as a matter or responsible foreknowledge, not so different from the special revelations granted a few individuals in the Old Testament. We know the future-God's forgiveness-and such advance knowledge presents us with a choice, a challenge of faith."<

"I once viewed foreknowledge as a 'genie in a bottle' gift of magic that affords the recipient an enviable advantage. I now see it as a rather demanding test of faith."

"But because of Christ, forgiveness is our problem, not God's. What we have to go through to commit sin distances us from God--we change in the very act of rebellion-and then there is no guarantee we will come back. You ask me about forgiveness now, but will you even want it later, especially if it involves repentance
Ahh, the year of the dragon, (the month, the day, the moments)

I am in no means perfect. I struggle with forgiveness.
Why do we hang on to these seemingly petty grievances as if unaware that it is a direct act of rebellion to God?
This seems like a lifetime of lessons to be learned and yet why-why do we wait, hanging on to something that so cripples us when freedom is ours for the taking?

This is such a huge stumbling block to presenting the gospel.
As believers in Christ we all too often speak out of both sides of our mouth.
Is this what is meant by being "double minded"?
Fresh water cannot exist in an ocean. This is a fairly easy concept to grasp and yet, when it comes to forgiveness and repentance we stumble, fall and decide we want to stay there comfortable for some, maybe not for others but we stay there why...?
We need to ask ourselves this, are we representing ourselves or do we honestly want to represent Christ?
Believe me when I say that this is something I have been dealing with and that is what is so amazing about God's grace.