Monday, November 9, 2009

God is light, in my darkness.

I stand in my dark kitchen pouring my recently boiled water into my coffee carafe after having placed four generous Tbsp of Yuban coffee grounds into the container.
It is a small apartment and as it is early morning, the light is beginning to filter in slowly.
Why a dark kitchen you might ask? Why not turn on a light?
It is because sometimes, I like to move about in the dark, letting my eyes adjust to my surroundings and simply put, the dark doesn't scare me. I move about in the inkiness, familiar with my surroundings and sometimes I am comforted by the black cape that moves about with me.
Before you judge me or feel the need to draw upon some spiritual words of encouragement let me remind us all that God did indeed create the light but he also stands there with me in the darkness.
There have been times when Neil arrives home to find me sitting or doing something in the apartment and he will ask, "why don't you turn on a light" and then, walking over to the wall switch he will give it a flick, turning on the light bulb overhead, therefore illuminating the space around us.
I like the dark.
Maybe I have never been in utter and complete darkness. No, I do not know what that feels like. And it is difficult for me to fully explain what I mean when I say that I like my dark apartment. There is something about putting your senses to work within the confines of space, chosen albeit and feeling comfortable with it.
Not all darkness feels this way and not everyone chooses to exist in darkness...well, to put a spiritual slant on it I would have to say that yes, some do choose darkness. "Men prefer darkness to the light"
Maybe then what I am really talking about is being comfortable.
Content in my home, I move about here & there and such as it is, I need no lighted hallways to show me where to go.
I do need God to direct me, no questions there.
Sometimes, standing at my counter top in the dark my mind reflects on various things and it is in that moment that I see in the dark shadows around me, the need to have God illuminate. It also reminds me that whatever I call dark around me it is of no consequence because I know that God's light will shine even into the darkest of corners. Some of those corners are in my life, some of those places in others.
There, you have brought me to it.
There really is no getting away from God, he is everywhere.

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