Dark & Messy Bits

Why is it, when you are engaged in a conversation about "grace" with another Christian you will most likely get a reference to the fact that "grace does not give licence to continue to do whatever you want"?
I understand what grace is about and from whom I have received this amazing grace.
I also understand that this shell of a body has an operating system of heart & mind that wrestles (daily) with the things of this world.
Grace does not make one perfect.
Grace should put you in harmony with God.
And yes, I know it is not a license to give in to the flesh.
Thanks for the reminder.

We all have dark & messy bits about us.
When my partner in conversation gets to that point of reference it almost feels like I should respond with a smack to my forehead and exclaim, "I didn't know that."
At this junction in said conversation I begin to feel that I have been put on notice so to speak, reminded of my place in the channels of Christian history and that this should be the end of this particular conversation now that I have reminded you, lest you think otherwise.
Kinda puts a damper on the freedom that we have in Christ.
Freedom to make mistakes.
Freedom to fall and get back up again.
Freedom to speak about those dark & messy bits.
I want others to know that I have to deal with those messy bits and that my Christianity is not a clever cover up to disguise what really takes place in my heart, my life.
Grace, is about what Jesus continues to work in my life, not a staged play that conveys a perfect spectacle.

I have never thought of grace as a licence to hurt myself or others. I instead I contemplate about grace a great deal, wondering how I can share God's grace with others. How or why would I choose to think otherwise? Would that not just lend itself to selfishness and that it not what grace is about.

On occasion my husband quotes a verse of prose from his childhood.
"Grace, grace is a little girl who forgot to wash her face."
Maybe I forget to wash my face sometimes.
But there will always be someone to remind you of the fact.