Friday, December 5, 2008

Dear Supermarket,

checker, bagger, clerk..........
Please do not "squish" my bread.
Sincerely yours,

Ok, I am guessing that at some point, most likely before you start your first day on the job, this job, that you are taught the finer points of bagging groceries.
It is not rocket science.
I like shopping at Target because I like their plastic bags and while they are not good for the environment, they do however make outstanding garbage bags.
My bad.
And these days, it seems that everyone has received the mandate for "let's get rid of those gosh darn plastic bags and use the 'totes' because they really are much better."
That is, if you remember to place them in your car. Never mind that. Let's just remember that they sit on your back seat and you need to actually bring them into the store.
So, that leaves me with the plastic bags.

Some thoughtful clerks will actually have the good sense to "double bag" when they have placed all and I do mean ALL your tin items into one bag.
Really I think this is part of the same mandate in relation to the new totes you encounter at the beginning of the checkout stand.
Say, "let's make her life miserable". Let's place that jug of milk along with her jars of spaghetti sauce into one small plastic bag.
I don't really get so miserable. In fact, I blame myself most often for my carelessness when it comes to remembering that I now own at least 7, yes 7 of those totes. I think I must have my own mandate. Let's collect one of each color, how pretty.
Back to the issue at hand.

Mr. Clerk in question.
I know that my tin of sauerkraut is for the lovely Reuben sandwiches my husband asked for. However, I do not think that placing the tin next to my freshly baked bread is the way to go.
But what about the previous times. For instance, tomatoes on the bottom and something heavy on top. Now that is a good one. All vegetables are not created equal and besides, tomatoes are really a fruit if you want to get technical.
And while we are on the subject of fruit...please handle my apples with care.
I hand selected those apples to make sure they were free of bruises and brown spots.
But now, thanks to you, they might become my next apple crumble.

Due to the popular idea of packing heavy handed, I have come up with my own system in order to discourage the event of squished anything.
I take the items in my cart and place them in a specific order.
I know, I know. Rather anal. And, sometimes it works.
One clerk in particular sees my "open" bagged veggies or fruit which I have left open,(on purpose)in a specific fashion, free of twist ties and promptly grabs them and with a flourish of hand makes two handles and ties the bag together to prevent my onions from escaping. So I am guessing.
Then the onions get placed in a bag along with my milk and the process continues.
There has been occasion where no clerk stands at the immediate end of the counter and I am quick to bag my own groceries, explaining that it is no problem as this was once my job and I understand just what to do.
As I said, "it is not rocket science".
I really must remember those nicely colored totes sitting on the back seat of my car.

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